Well...I really am going to post about Boo's Birthday, but I want to find the camera first and I have to remember to ask Josh where it is. Remembering is the tricky part. :)
Please be aware the following contains a "not so happy" personality for one of my children, and I do love her so dearly. She is a very happy, beautiful girl and makes us laugh constantly. She does deal with life a little more strongly than others. I could change the names...but really we would all know anyway.
Things are pretty much the same around here. Although Jinaya is going through a "new" developmental stage I have not dealt with before. She does NOT like to go to bed (yah what kid does). Well she will scream and hit things and just be so crazy. It is not easy to deal with. I have learned that she just needs to be loved no matter how loud she screams.
We have been dealing with this for a few nights, each time doing something different (sleeping in the living room, sleeping in the bean bag, sleeping on our bedroom floor, etc.) But yesterday we tried many approaches. Keep in mind she was screaming at us the ENTIRE time. The first was spanking. There were no results. Next, I told her to get in bed or I would put her there (with counting). She got out of bed faster then I could put her there and well I just didn't have the energy to keep up with her. Next, I told her she needed to get in her bed or I would shut the door (again with counting). She did scream louder (a result). She also told me, "You're not leaving me." "Don't shut the door." (I will admit, sometimes these things can be funny, but with the frustration, Mommy stuck to her guns.) We did this for quite a few times as I thought I was getting somewhere. After a while I decided she was getting confused and maybe only hearing "get in bed and Shut the door" not the whole of the sentences. So next, I went with her into the bedroom and shut the door, I sat by the door. I told her that when she got into her bed, I would open the door. I told her this a couple of times. By this time she was mostly just crying, not screaming. Then I turned on the broken record and very calmly told her to "Get in your bed" I did this over and over for every response. After a couple of minutes she had stopped crying and went to bed. I tucked her in and as I left the room I opened the door as promised. She immediately yelled at me, "You're not Leaving, SHUT the door." Um??? So I went back in and she was still in bed....gave her kisses and Shut the door and left. She was asleep in seconds. Although we did not dare check on her for a while.
As parents we have come to the conclusion that Jinaya is afraid to go to bed alone (even though she sleeps with Boo?) It is a little like "stranger anxiety". Also, she gets so angry she doesn't know what she wants to do and of course needs to calm down before any of her own choices can be made. She wants to be held and snuggled, but she can't get comfortable and doesn't go to sleep. She also has been going to bed "big girl style" for quite sometime now. Many kids make their own solution to this problem, with a blanket, bear, binki, etc. Jinaya does not really form attachments like that. Our next step is to try and encourage an attachment for her. We have a few ideas, but do welcome suggestions. We will not let her sleep in our bed, nor in our room. She did sleep on our floor once this week, but with a baby bassinet there just isn't room.
So...why post this? I think there are many times when mommy's deal with new things and situations and kid styles. The same things don't work for every kid. Sometimes the kids just don't understand. Plus I like to learn from what has worked for others...so there :-P
wood bed risers
1 year ago
2 comments:
If I were you I would stick to the pattern that worked. Consistency is really good! Just sit outside the door and repeat over and over "Get in your bed." At first she may challenge you and the challenge may increase for a bit but I'll bet within a week or two, the issue will be resolved. A strong-willed child can be a great blessing as they learn to exert their strength in better ways.
One other thought: We found it very helpful when dealing with a "misbehavior" to determine a consistent pattern and then inform the child just what would happen at a time other than the time of action. In other words, perhaps talk to Jinya while you are making cookies or some other time when you are working together. Tell her that you love her and are concerned that she be happy in the day time. Explain that she needs a good night's sleep for that to happen and that from now on, when it is bed time, you will put her into her bed, give her a hug and kiss and leave the room. Tell her it is important for her to stay in her bed and think happy thoughts. You could then ask what she would like to have in her bed with her.
Then each and EVERY night do exactly the same thing such as put her in bed. Shut the door if she creates a ruckus. Tell her once that you will open the door when she gets quietly into bed. Then do not say anything else until she has settled.
I really think this will work. However, there are times when we keep puzzling until we figure it out. If you go to quickly from one thing to another, the child can string you along forever and this is definitely not good for the child. Children can develop unhealthy patterns to keep you inappropriately engaged.
You are a dear mom! I pray you will be able to get Jinya back on track before the baby comes. It is hard to see one of our children distraught and upset isn't it?
ah the joys of bedtime...Our kids still do the same thing. Our girls especially. We have had a heck of a time trying to get them to stay in thier rooms and you know we've been in this very situation. At least you got her to sleep finally lol I used to just make mine stand in time out til they were ready to go to bed where they could be comfortable. =) GO you!
Post a Comment